No one is impressed by seeing a rabbit lifted out of a hat.
What makes it impressive is that you’ve seen that rabbit go into a completely different hat moments before.

By itself, a rabbit in a hat is kind of fun. But it wouldn’t make you feel that something magic has happened.

The only reason we feel surprised is because the magician took care to put both sides of the equation in place.

First, the magician sets an expectation. Then, the magician breaks it.

And you can’t break an expectation that has never been set. It would be like a comedian only saying punchlines.

The neuroscience of memory reconsolidation is the same. If you want to surprise the brain into becoming rewritable, you follow the magician.

Connect to the expectation, and then break it. These are called mismatch experiences. The neuroscience shows that they are the key to removing trauma response – and any other emotional learning.

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