You are not a barrister

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Barristers ask questions when they know what the answer will be.
Good therapists and coaches ask questions because we can’t possibly know what the answer will be.

Barristers try to prove things to the people they speak to.

Good therapists and coaches let people sit with seemingly contradictory experiences to see how the contradiction lands.

Barristers try to convince.

Good therapists and coaches don’t.

Barrister : So if your friend stayed with you out of care for you, it cannot be true that noone cares for you – can it?!

Versus

Skilled helper: What’s it like for it to feel true that noone cares for you, AND at the same time notice that she stayed because she cared for you?

One makes a case. The other sets up an experience.

One acts like they know the answer already. The other remains openly curious.

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